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Finding God in the Darkness is not easy. He is there, but we don’t always recognize him. This poem expresses my search for hope, peace and redemption in the darkness of my childhood.
Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
“I have cried more and more intensely than I have in years. I have realized that the deep sorrow of grief will not be pushed away forever. Oh I tried by letting it bubble out for brief moments thinking, “I can do this.” Short blasts of tears predict the eruption to come. Body tremors warn of the pain within. Fatigue warns that all is not well in the soul. Then the deep sorrow and anguish of grief erupts. The eruption will not stop until the depth of pain is released.
leaving the security of familiar coping mechanisms is terrifying. Especially when nothing seems to ease the fear and pain like what I knew. When the “new life” became difficult or not what I expected, I wanted to return to the comfortable. I wanted what was comfortable even though it was dangerous and painful.
By Lewis’s definition, “Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they in common some insight or interest or even taste which others do not share and which, ‘till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden).”
Jesus was fully divine and fully human. What went through Mary’s mind on that night so long ago? How can we relate to her mixed emotions as she gazed on the face of God.
This week I had the opportunity to share my thoughts on the problem of evil with Jordan Hampton on Crash Course Apologetics YouTube channel. In the video, I share parts of my healing journey, resources that helped me on my journey and the importance of faith in healing from childhood trauma.
I think that as a nation, we are weary and ready for relief from the strife 2020 brought to us. In my search for relief, I often turn to Psalms because David thinks like I do. He laments-sometimes bordering on complaining-then finds his way back to praise and worship of the Lord. Yesterday, that search led to Psalm 73:26.
The sonnets in my memoir provide respite to the reader as they navigate my accounts of the pain I endured as a child. The sonnet below is placed at a critical transition between my childhood and leaving for college. My words convey hope, empathy for the child who fears the future. The poem reminds the child within that Jesus never leaves her and she can still find comfort and strength by holding on to Him.