Writing a memoir is not easy. Over the past several weeks I have learned a great deal about the little girl who endured so much at the hand of those who should have loved and cared for her. The chapters of the memoir are told through the eyes of a child, but as the adult on the other side of the trauma, I feel compelled to write short reflections to that little girl to encourage and uplift her.

Writing the first few chapters of my memoir, What Kind of Love is This?-Finding God in the Darkness, was hard, much harder than I anticipated. I am exhausted physically, spiritually, and emotionally. While the memoir focuses more on hope, redemption, and faith rather than detailed descriptions of the abuse that I endured, it sometimes left me raw.

When I recognize the inner voice that tells me to sabotage a relationship, or warns me to run away from a friendship, I stop the thought and replace it with scripture. Part of the process is identifying when I felt the same emotions or physical sensations

Sometimes life throws you a curve that seems insurmountable. You are moving along with life.  All is well.  Then suddenly, without warning a loved one dies, you get a negative report from your doctor, or you lose your job.  Suddenly, your world is turned upside down.  You feel alone. You frantically search for someone to comfort you, but friends and family are not available.  In these times, remember God provides the greatest comfort through the Holy Spirit.

When I am in the midst of a difficult season in my life, I sometimes forget that spring is coming.  I can’t see any further than my circumstance.  Fortunately, God knows SPRING IS COMING!  I ask myself, why should I worry.

This blog was originally published several years ago. However, as I struggle to find the words to convey hope and redemption through a memoir, my thoughts drift back to the posts I wrote during another season in my life. Reading this post helped me remember the importance of being firmly planted in Christ. The thoughts are as relevant today as they were years ago.