leaving the security of familiar coping mechanisms is terrifying. Especially when nothing seems to ease the fear and pain like what I knew. When the “new life” became difficult or not what I expected, I wanted to return to the comfortable. I wanted what was comfortable even though it was dangerous and painful.

My initial reason for starting a blog was to tell my story. When I began I had a general notion of the impact the blog would have on me, but I realized a few days ago that telling my story brings up emotions and memories that I have not dealt with in years.

In an earlier post, I mentioned the idea of capturing my thoughts. I want to delve into that a bit more. Part of my recovery from the trauma I experienced as a child included learning how to manage emotional spirals.

I addressed the first two letters in this series to my younger self at two specific times when my distorted thinking led to involvement with married men. In those letters, I spoke directly to the young woman who desperately sought comfort and solace in the arms of men who could not provide what she needed. (What I needed) The final letter speaks to the betrayed spouse.

The second letter tells the story of a young woman who wanted to change, lost her way, and turned to married men to meet unmet needs. By using the voice of an older adult speaking to a younger person, I hope the words will bring peace, comfort, and reassurance to another young woman who experienced similar distortions and exhibited similar behavior as a result.

The most challenging experiences for me as I share my story are the times that I was “the other woman.”  Each time, I was seeking something that alluded me.  The letters that follow will hopefully speak to the young woman who finds herself in a similar position. Each letter in the 3 part series is written for a unique audience.  The first letter speaks to the young girl who was lost and confused and did not understand her environment.