The View from the Foot of the Bed

Dissociation is a common occurrence for traumatized individuals. We escape to a safer place. The new sonnet is written from the point of view of the source of my escape and relief, Jesus Christ.

Introduction

The sonnet below is based on two lines from Sonnet I -Are Daddy’s Words the Truth or Does He Lie?, “With hope, I shift my eyes and look above/The bed. Escape and find relief again.” Dissociation is a common occurrence for traumatized individuals. We escape to a safer place. The new sonnet is written from the point of view of the source of my escape and relief, Jesus Christ. While He did not stop the abuse, He was always there to provide comfort and relief. Why He didn’t stop what was happening to me is a topic for another day.

 

From the foot of your bed, I see you hide

From what you fear. Your eyes reveal the pain

Of knowing that he will not be denied.

Your eyes fill with tears when he comes again.

If you are asleep, maybe he won’t stay.

He is not deceived that you are serene.

I want to shout to make him go away.

But I can only gaze upon the scene.

Frantic, you seek a way to find relief.

Finally, you understand that I am here.

You call out to me, “Jesus, help me please.”

He does not know I take away your fear.

I will not leave you. I ‘m always here

To shield your soul and wipe away your tears.

 

Related Posts:

Father’s Day-A Reflection

At Last I Stand Approved

“Sonnet V-At Last I Stand Approved” is the result of splitting the original Sonnet IV from the “What Kind of Love is This” Sonnet series into two Sonnets.

Introduction

“Sonnet V-At Last I Stand Approved” is the result of splitting the original Sonnet IV from the “What Kind of Love is This” Sonnet series into two Sonnets. The original Sonnet was written for a Modern/Post Modern course at Houston Baptist University Master of Arts in Apologetics program. The assignment limited me to four Sonnets for the final project. I wanted to tell as much of the story of language distortion as possible within the confines of the course requirements, but doing so resulted in a compressed timeline in Sonnet IV.

I reworked the original Sonnet IV to address age fifty-five when I met my second husband, John. You can read the revision here.

Sonnet V-At Last I Stand Approved illustrates my acceptance of my true worth. In this sonnet, I look back at my marriage to John to show how the relationship with him helped me accept how God views me and finally reject my father lies. Through the imagery in the first few lines, I describe my inner transformation and acceptance of a different meaning of love.  The last quatrain describes my current understanding of love. I begin with the disclosure that I am a widow, but the loss does not change the truth. Line ten answers the question asked at the end of Sonnet I.  The declarations found in the remaining two lines of the quatrain provide transition from earthly love to Divine Love. The final couplet confirms that the language distortion no longer controls my thinking and I know the true meaning of love.

 

The truth revealed, now I know what love is.

At sixty-five, I can finally say

I knew the kind of love that could dismiss

Distorted views of love that led astray.

For eight short years, we shared one soul, one heart.

He made me laugh at times when life was tough.

He taught me how to love and draw apart

To understand that God’s love is enough.

I am a widow now, and still, I know

That Daddy’s words were lies and not the truth.

When I feel the tempter’s frightening blow

I stand my ground and say, “I know my worth!”

And, by His crimson blood, my stains removed.

Transformed, and white as snow I stand approved.

 

Related Posts:

What Kind of Love is This? Part III Sonnets

Sonnet I -Are Daddy’s Words the Truth or Does He Lie?

Sonnet II- Does Love Reside Where I Cannot See?

Sonnet III. How Can I Make It Right?

Sonnet IV. The Truth Revealed

Updates

I updated Sonnet II, Sonnet III, and Sonnet IV and am working on adding a fifth Sonnet. Also, the entire text of  “Know the Truth” and “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” are now included on my site.

I recently updated several of my posts. The new links are included in the description below.

I updated Sonnet II, Sonnet III, and Sonnet IV and am working on adding a fifth Sonnet. Also, the entire text of  “Know the Truth” and “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” are now included on my site. My granddaughter pointed out to me that the links were no longer working. Upon investigation, I discovered that Cheryl Luke updated her site, so the links to the blogs no longer worked. The nice thing about writing online is you can improve and update your thoughts and ideas as new inspiration hits. I hope you enjoy the updates.

The Truth Revealed

describes my inner transformation and tentative acceptance of a different meaning of love.

Oh, can you tell me how to make this right?

At fifty-five, I think I understand

That love can last beyond the morning light

And is not gained by force nor by command.

I longed to meet someone who showed me how

To love, without demand without the pain.

Then, I did meet someone who sought to know

The beauty that I hid behind my shame.

Unlike the first, he listened to the tale

Of love’s deception and of battles fought

Against the lies, the pain to get it right.

Friendship first, no kiss, no demands were sought.

Now we stand and say our vows, our first kiss.

The truth revealed, now I know what love is.

 

OTHER RELATED POSTS:

Sonnet I -Are Daddy’s Words the Truth or Does He Lie?

Sonnet II- Does Love Abide Where I Cannot See?

III. How Can I Make It Right?

Sonnet V-At Last I Stand Approved

What Kind of Love is This? Part III Sonnets

How Can I Make It Right?

describes my internal conflict between the truth and a behavior pattern that seems impossible to break.

Does true love reside where I cannot see?

At forty-five, I don’t know where to look.

The mirror reveals the truth, the real me,

The tired, empty soul now opened like a book.

Yet, no one sees the face that seeks release.

A glowing screen beckons me to draw near.

Its deceptive words promise perfect peace.

Messages of love meant to ease my fear.

No more! I won’t believe the tempter’s lie.

No more! I won’t believe what Daddy said.

No more! I won’t let true love pass me by.

No more! I will believe the debt is paid.

Oh Lord, please hold me in your arms tonight.

Oh, can you tell me how to make this right?

 

RELATED POSTS:

Sonnet I -Are Daddy’s Words the Truth or Does He Lie?

Sonnet II- Does Love Reside Where I Cannot See?

Sonnet IV. The Truth Revealed

How do I Change?

 

Does Love Reside Where I Cannot See?

expresses the distrust, confusion, and hopelessness that often accompanies language distortion of sex and love.

Are Daddy’s words the truth or does he lie?

At twenty-six I learned that love must mean

Always give in or lose the fight and die.

Is my belief in love a worthless dream?

The one I married said, “please stay and play.”

I thought he loved me but I was a fool.

It’s all pretense so he could get his way.

I think love can’t be kind; it’s always cruel.

I think love can’t be seen by souls like mine.

I’ve lost again, and don’t know how to win.

I don’t know where to turn or how to find

Love that is not cruel. Where do I begin?

Lord, can you tell me why love hides from me?

Does true love reside where I cannot see?

 

Other relevant posts:

III. How Can I Make It Right?

What Kind of Love is This? Part III Sonnets

Sonnet I -Are Daddy’s Words the Truth or Does He Lie?

Sonnet II- Does Love Reside Where I Cannot See?

 

 

Daddy’s Words

Expresses the distorted connection between love and sexual performance.

At eight years old, do I know what love means?

My Daddy says I do, but maybe not.

My Daddy smiles and tells me not to scream.

My Daddy smirks, “Just do what you were taught.”

My Daddy sighs … I wonder why his love

Must hurt. What can I do to stop the pain?

With hope I shift my eyes and look above

The bed. Escape and find relief again.

A slap…relief retreats, “What’s wrong with you?”

My Daddy shouts, “Why can’t you get it right?”

My Daddy turns away. Can it be true?

I can’t be loved except for his delight.

Despairing, I plead, “Jesus hear my cry.”

Are Daddy’s words the truth or does he lie?

 

Other relevant posts:

Sonnet II- Does Love Abide Where I Cannot See?

What Kind of Love is This?- Part IIWhat Kind of Love is This? Part I

What Kind of Love is This? Part III Sonnets

 

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