Finding God in the Darkness

Over the past few days, I’ve reviewed several of my early posts because I felt stuck. I wanted to post new content but couldn’t think of anything meaningful to write. So, I searched through the list beginning with my first post in April 2018. I smiled, cried, and even got angry as I reviewed sonnets, blogs and essays, but remained uninspired. Through tears of frustration, I exited my site and wondered, “why is it so hard to write something new?”

In my distress, I reached out to a friend who listened and encouraged me. Her words reminded me that the new content was right in front of me. The journey through my childhood, young adult years and my redemption demonstrates God’s constant presence in my life. The subtitle of my memoir is “Finding God in the Darkness” because my life experience reflects time and time again that God is always near. While I sometimes do not recognize His presence, He is always there.

This poem reflects on my journey from a questioning child, to accepting Jesus’s unconditional love.

Jesus, do you love me?

Daddy says it’s not true.

Jesus, do you love me?

The song says you do.

Jesus, do you love me?

Why did you go away?

Jesus, do you love me?

How can I make you stay?

Jesus, do you love me?

You are the vine or so they say.

Jesus, do you love me?

Will you be there at the end of day?

Jesus, do you love me?

In the corner of our yard an arbor stands.

Jesus do you love me?

You shelter me from the pain of his demands.

Jesus, do you love me?

The cellar’s dark. I don’t want to stay.

Jesus, do you love me?

An angel comes to wipe my tears away.

Jesus, do you love me?

Why won’t you let me stay?

Jesus, do you love me?

I can hear the children play.

Jesus, do you love me?

I can’t bear for you to see what’s hidden here.

Jesus, do you love me?

A dove flies free as you draw near.

Jesus, do you love me?

It’s time to end this life.

Jesus, do you love me?

You send my pastor and his wife.

Jesus, do you love me?

Show me what I should do.

Jesus, do you love me?

How do I know this is you?

Jesus, do you love me?

The path is clear, but full of pain.

Jesus, do you love me?

Can I walk this path again?

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Your love pulled me from the darkest night.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Your love made all things right.