My husband,John, helped me resolve the distorted view of love my parents created through abuse. I felt loved for who I am, not what I could offer him. I decided that posting my latest letter to heaven I might help someone realize there is hope even amid tragedy.
leaving the security of familiar coping mechanisms is terrifying. Especially when nothing seems to ease the fear and pain like what I knew. When the “new life” became difficult or not what I expected, I wanted to return to the comfortable. I wanted what was comfortable even though it was dangerous and painful.
My initial reason for starting a blog was to tell my story. When I began I had a general notion of the impact the blog would have on me, but I realized a few days ago that telling my story brings up emotions and memories that I have not dealt with in years.
In an earlier post, I mentioned the idea of capturing my thoughts. I want to delve into that a bit more. Part of my recovery from the trauma I experienced as a child included learning how to manage emotional spirals.
Father’s Day was difficult for me this year. I experienced emotions that I have not experienced for years. I was angry, sad, and confused for most of the day. As I viewed the myriad of Father’s Day posts on my newsfeed, I wanted to scream, “I don’t miss my Dad!” I don’t have anything good…
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