Sometimes I still struggle with asking for help because I don’t want to be a burden or I think my needs aren’t important, but I also struggle with self-reliance. Because I grew up in an abusive home, I learned early that I couldn’t rely on anyone for help.
In the video, Dr. Ham excellently explains the impact of trauma on learning. While his intended audience is teachers, the points apply to survivors of childhood trauma.
As I struggled to comprehend how God could love me, I struggled with an equally troubling question, “How could God love the family members who hurt me?”
As I held my beautiful newborn daughter for the first time an unfamiliar feeling flowed over me. As tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought, “How can I ever give her the love she needs? I don’t know what it feels like to be loved as I love her.” As Korine opened her eyes, I prayed, “Lord what kind of love is this?” How do I show her this kind of love?” My greatest wish was to show my daughter the love I never received. I wanted her to feel the depth of love that I felt at that moment.
Father’s Day is sometimes difficult for me. Most years I ignore the multitude of Father’s Day posts that fill my social media News Feed, but some years, the words of praise and love bring tears of sorrow and anger to my heart.
The intensity of the emotion surprises me because I forgave my father years ago. Today, I want to revisit a post I wrote a few years ago. Perhaps my words will comfort other survivors who struggle with the celebrating Father’s Day.
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