Tag: Holy Spirit

Letter to a Beautiful Girl

Writing a memoir is not easy. Over the past several weeks I have learned a great deal about the little girl who endured so much at the hand of those who should have loved and cared for her. The chapters of the memoir are told through the eyes of a child, but as the adult on the other side of the trauma, I feel compelled to write short reflections to that little girl to encourage and uplift her.

Writing a memoir is not easy. Over the past several weeks I have learned a great deal about the little girl who endured so much at the hand of those who should have loved and cared for her. The chapters of the memoir are told through the eyes of a child, but as the adult on the other side of the trauma, I feel compelled to write short reflections to that little girl to encourage and uplift her. I also insert letters into the memoir at significant points in the narrative with the hope that they offer the reader a breath of fresh air as they read my story. The letter below is one of the Reflections from the memoir. I reference my father and my Uncle Ray in the letter because they were the primary perpetrators of abuse in the chapters preceding the letter. 

Oh, beautiful girl,

My heart aches when I hear your cries. I long to remove all your fear and doubt, but that must wait for just the right moment. You ask so many questions that no one answers, so you use the brilliant mind that God gave you to answer them. Sometimes your conclusions are right, but sometimes they are distorted by your experience.

You view the world through dark and shattered lenses that create a broken image of the world, God and yourself. I’ve learned much from you these past few weeks as I’ve walked beside you through the darkness. You’ve reminded me that you always wanted to know the truth and fought hard to find it. I know that you doubt God’s love for you and wonder how to find the peace and comfort you learned about in Sunday school. You will find the answer, beautiful girl, I promise you.

Do not lose your faith, little one, God loves you and never leaves your side. When He sends an angel, it doesn’t mean He loves you less. Angels protect and comfort us in a unique way. Sometimes God sends an angel; but God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are always with you.

The days ahead will be difficult, beautiful girl, but trust that God will get you through them. He will guide you along a path to freedom. You will not always live in pain and fear. You will help others, who walk a similar path, to understand how to overcome their pain.

Beautiful girl, please remember this—God loves you no matter what Daddy or Uncle Ray tell you. You are beautiful no matter what happens to you.

All my love, adult Charlotte

The Eye of the Storm

When we focus on Christ rather than the problems, confusion or pain in our lives, we experience peace.  Perhaps the circumstances do not change, but we change in the circumstances. 

 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” Matthew 8:23-27.

Hurricanes are devastating and frightening.

The path of the storm is unpredictable as is its strength as it travels across land and sea.  While modern weather technology provides reliable predictions about a hurricane’s path, the storms do not always follow the projection.  However, every hurricane has an eye.  The force of the surface winds deflects the wind slightly away from the center, causing the wind to rotate around the center of the hurricane, leaving the exact center, the eye, calm.  While the storm’s path and strength remain unpredictable, the eye remains constant and peaceful.

The disciples feared the outcome of the storm.

They could not understand how Christ remained calm enough to sleep through the wind and rain.  Surely, they would die! Christ slept because He knew He was the calm center.  He knew He could calm the sea.  When the disciples doubted Christ’s ability to divert the winds of the storm, He rebuked them.  They lost their focus in amid a raging storm.  They took their eyes off the calm center, Jesus.

In Matthew, although Christ calms the wind and rain, the disciples experienced pain.  Once the wind was calm, they were astonished that Christ controlled the wind.  They were wet, possibly bruised, most likely cold, but they were calm because Christ became their focus, rather than their circumstances.

At times life feels like a hurricane, tossing us to and fro with hurt, illness, unexpected changes, stress, anxiety, and difficult decisions.

We become so caught up in the chaos that we cannot fathom relief.  We may even cry out to God, “How can you let this happen to me?” All we see is the chaos.  We do not see the peace available at the center. Christ stands at the center, like the eye of a hurricane, waiting for us to turn our eyes toward Him.  He will take the brunt of the wind and rain. Even when the storm continues, He remains calm.  When we focus on Him rather than the problems, confusion or pain in our lives, we experience peace.  Perhaps the circumstances do not change, but we change in the circumstances.

As an old Hymn reminds us,

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”

How to Cope when Life Throws you a Curve

Sometimes life throws you a curve that seems insurmountable. You are moving along with life.  All is well.  Then suddenly, without warning a loved one dies, you get a negative report from your doctor, or you lose your job.  Suddenly, your world is turned upside down.  You feel alone. You frantically search for someone to comfort you, but friends and family are not available.  In these times, remember God provides the greatest comfort through the Holy Spirit.

Revisiting an Old Story

When I wrote this blog five years ago, my heart still ached from the loss of my husband. I longed for just a few moments with John to share daily events and accomplishments. I longed to hear his voice one more time. As I considered what to post today, I realized that recent events triggered similar feelings of sorrow. However, the triggering events were not losses, they were achievements that I wanted to share with John. I wanted to tell him about starting to write my memoir and graduating from HBU with a Master of Arts in Apologetics. I wanted to bounce ideas off him as I wrote the chapters of my memoir, but he is not here. I miss him. Reading this blog renewed me and reoriented my heart toward the ultimate comforter.

How to Cope when Life throws you a curve

Sometimes life throws you a curve that seems insurmountable. You are moving along with life.  All is well.  Then suddenly, without warning a loved one dies, you get a negative report from your doctor, or you lose your job.  Suddenly, your world is turned upside down.  You feel alone. You frantically search for someone to comfort you, but friends and family are not available.  In these times, remember God provides the greatest comfort through the Holy Spirit.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

Several months after my husband, John’s death, I was feeling well most of the time.  The intense emotions surrounding the day of the month that he died were a faint memory. However, at the 20-month mark, I felt a level of intensity that reminded me of the days immediately following his death. There seemed to be no relief.

Friends and family were unavailable due to their own circumstances. They reached out to me via text messages, phone calls, and prayer, which helped for a moment.  A simple text from my grandson, Isaac “Miss U,” brought a smile.  A word from my daughter, “I love you,” calmed me for an instant.  My sister-in-law asking, “How’s your day going?” eased the sorrow.  But none of these things lasted.   I felt disconnected from God.  Somehow, I believed I should be “over” this and be able to move on.  I told myself, “get a grip.”  I was not prepared for the emotional intensity that consumed me. I longed for comfort.  Then I remembered a scripture that I memorized as a child.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Ps. 23

 When life throws you a curve, God can use it to bring you closer to Him.

While I do not feel God necessarily removed my support system, I know He used the circumstance to force me to turn to Him.   One morning I decided to listen to music while I drank my morning coffee.  My thought was to connect with God and hopefully find relief from the sorrow in my soul.  The first song was a man singing,” God gave me you…” to his wife.  Surprisingly, after the initial, “you’ve got to be kidding me.” I smiled.  I felt God whisper, “It’s going to be okay, Charlotte.  I am still here with you.”  In that 30 second connection, I realized that although my friends and family could not comfort me, God was ever present to “refresh my soul… lead me beside still waters and comfort me.”  This truth got me through that day.

God’s Presence overcomes any circumstance

No matter what life throws at you, God’s presence can bring comfort.  Whether the curve is a death or some other significant loss, He is always the ultimate source of comfort.  We all have people in our lives who are good at comforting those who are in pain, but there will be times when these “comforters” will not be able to connect with you.   In any circumstance, God, through the Holy Spirit, can bring a peace that passes all understanding. If only for a moment.  Sometimes that is all you need. Peace at the moment.  In times of most profound sorrow, His presence will refresh your soul as he leads you beside still waters to comfort you.

When has God been your comforter when life throws you a curve?

 

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