Although the sonnet below is a reflection of my recent journey down memory lane, I think it reflects the healing journey many survivors face as the wrestle with memories, triggers and flashbacks. If this is you, I hope my words bring comfort to your troubled heart and renew your faith that there is hope of redemption because of Jesus Christ.
Imagination
Recently I remembered how important play is to my well-being when I began playing Minecraft.
Sometimes when God touches me, the honesty seems too much. Sometimes, I don’t want Him to see the “real me”. The truth is He always sees the real me.
The Covid-19 virus has upended everyone over the past few weeks. While the new normal creates havoc for nearly everyone, I’ve realized a hidden impact for trauma survivors. With each new restriction comes less control over my life, which triggers old fears and sometimes anger.
The sonnet below is a poetic version of last week’s blog. In the sonnet, I attempt to capture the emotional, physical and spiritual turmoil of the past few weeks. However, I also want to express the hope and courage I’m rediscovering as I write. The final couplet reaffirms God’s love for me and the child who’s tale I tell.
Writing the first few chapters of my memoir, What Kind of Love is This?-Finding God in the Darkness, was hard, much harder than I anticipated. I am exhausted physically, spiritually, and emotionally. While the memoir focuses more on hope, redemption, and faith rather than detailed descriptions of the abuse that I endured, it sometimes left me raw.
When we focus on Christ rather than the problems, confusion or pain in our lives, we experience peace. Perhaps the circumstances do not change, but we change in the circumstances.
When I am in the midst of a difficult season in my life, I sometimes forget that spring is coming. I can’t see any further than my circumstance. Fortunately, God knows SPRING IS COMING! I ask myself, why should I worry.
Imagination brings thoughts to life. Imagination can transform a life event into a readable story that points to redemption.
