As I thought about what to share this week, I remembered the sonnet I wrote and posted over a year ago when the emotional turmoil of writing my memoir overwhelmed me. As I worked on query letters and book proposals those emotions resurfaced. While not as intense as last year, they were exhausting. Healing is exhausting. Even after years of freedom from the emotional devastation that turned my life upside down, recalling the pain of my childhood drained me to the core. I recognized once again the importance of self-care, renewing my mind and staying connected with friends and family. More importantly, I remembered that Christ is the ultimate source of strength and comfort.
Although the sonnet below is a reflection of my recent journey down memory lane, I think it reflects the healing journey many survivors face as the wrestle with memories, triggers and flashbacks. If this is you, I hope my words bring comfort to your troubled heart and renew your faith that there is hope of redemption because of Jesus Christ.
Must I Walk this Path Again?
Oh, child so fair, your words exhaust my soul.
Your words ignite forgotten rage and pain.
Your words recall your fight to win control.
I did not think I’d walk this path again.
The path is dark, oh help me find my way.
This path is not the one from long ago.
Oh Lord, I do not think I want to stay.
The fear of pain commands that I should go.
Oh, child so fair, I hear your voice. It’s clear.
You tell the tale of hope that kept you sane.
You tell the tale that wiped away your fear.
Ah, I know why I walk this path again.
To show her she is precious in your sight.
To show her you have made everything right.