Experiencing Hope, Finding Truth
Between my Junior and Senior year of college, George, my childhood mentor, and father figure became my lover. I still had no idea how I understood how to react and how to please but being with him felt familiar and, in a distorted way, safe.
Between my Sophomore and Junior year of college, my anxiety and depression grew more profound as did my compulsion to act out sexually. If I dated someone who was not interested in a sexual relationship, I broke up with them. I felt trapped and believed I must be evil.
Childhood trauma often causes the child to retreat emotionally and mentally into a safe place. Sometimes such mental retreats become a new reality for the individual. The child creates a new persona that is happy, playful and safe from harm. In cases of extreme abuse, the created safe place replaces the memory of the trauma…
My first two years of college seemed magical, but I didn’t feel completely safe or comfortable. My thoughts sometimes drifted to desires and behaviors that I did not understand.
Over the next few weeks, I will attempt to provide some insight into how God parents His creation. While most of my posts are informal, for this series, I divided an essay I wrote for a graduate school course into five posts. Perhaps the rational approach to this very emotional topic will help someone who currently struggles with the problem of evil in our world.
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