My first posts to this site included a sonnet sequence that I wrote as part of a graduate course at Houston Baptist University in 2017. As I considered what to post this week, I thought about my current project and the sonnet sequence came to my mind. The sequence chronicles my journey to understand love in a five sonnet sequence. Writing the sonnets helped me put a lifetime into a few lines of poetry and laid the foundation for writing my memoir. As I near the end of the first revision of my draft and prepare to send copies to beta readers, I decided to repost the last sonnet of the sequence because it expresses the hope I want my readers to experience when they read my story.
“Sonnet V-At Last I Stand Approved” illustrates my acceptance of my true worth. In this sonnet, I look back at my marriage to John to show how the relationship with him helped me accept how God views me and finally rejects my father’s lies. Through the imagery in the first few lines, I describe my inner transformation and acceptance of a different meaning of love. The last quatrain describes my current understanding of love. I begin with the disclosure that I am a widow, but the loss does not change the truth. Line ten answers the question asked at the end of Sonnet I. The declarations found in the remaining two lines of the quatrain provide a transition from earthly love to Divine Love. The final couplet confirms that the language distortion no longer controls my thinking and I know the true meaning of love.
The truth revealed, now I know what love is.
At sixty-five, I can finally say
I knew the kind of love that could dismiss
Distorted views of love that led astray.
For eight short years, we shared one soul, one heart.
He made me laugh at times when life was tough.
He taught me how to love and draw apart
To understand that God’s love is enough.
I am a widow now, and still, I know
That Daddy’s words were lies and not the truth.
When I feel the tempter’s frightening blow
I stand my ground and say, “I know my worth!”
And, by His crimson blood, my stains removed.
Transformed, and white as snow I stand approved.