This sonnet describes my internal conflict between the truth and a behavior pattern that seems impossible to break.
The sonnet below is a poetic version of last week’s blog. In the sonnet, I attempt to capture the emotional, physical and spiritual turmoil of the past few weeks. However, I also want to express the hope and courage I’m rediscovering as I write. The final couplet reaffirms God’s love for me and the child who’s tale I tell.
My last post, The Problem of Evil, began with a description of an event that I experienced at […]
Between my Junior and Senior year of college, George, my childhood mentor, and father figure became my lover. I still had no idea how I understood how to react and how to please but being with him felt familiar and, in a distorted way, safe.
Between my Sophomore and Junior year of college, my anxiety and depression grew more profound as did my compulsion to act out sexually. If I dated someone who was not interested in a sexual relationship, I broke up with them. I felt trapped and believed I must be evil.
Childhood trauma often causes the child to retreat emotionally and mentally into a safe place. Sometimes such mental […]
My first two years of college seemed magical, but I didn’t feel completely safe or comfortable. My thoughts sometimes drifted to desires and behaviors that I did not understand.
Dissociation is a common occurrence for traumatized individuals. We escape to a safer place. The new sonnet is written from the point of view of the source of my escape and relief, Jesus Christ.
“Sonnet V-At Last I Stand Approved” is the result of splitting the original Sonnet IV from the “What Kind of Love is This” Sonnet series into two Sonnets.
I updated Sonnet II, Sonnet III, and Sonnet IV and am working on adding a fifth Sonnet. Also, the entire text of “Know the Truth” and “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” are now included on my site.